John Mayer is on the cover of Rolling Stone. Are any of you fans? If so, I recommend you don’t read the article because he gives quotes like: “Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!” Could he be a less appealing person? Maybe if he posed with his flabby chest on display in disgusting sweatpants…
Or maybe if he trash talked his exes some more. Oh wait. John isn’t over gloating about how he dumped Jennifer Aniston. “I’ve never really gotten over it,” he says. “It was one of the worst times of my life… I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is fucking fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.'”
It doesn’t arc over the horizon? Seriously, if someone said that to me during a break up I would punch them in the face.
John also said he has stopped dating now and started “to fuck the girls I’ve already fucked,” because girls can’t believe he could be “interested in them, and they’re going, ‘But you’re John Mayer!'”
Maybe they mean: but your John Mayer and you’re disgusting get away from me?